


Something Awful Just Like Kisses on the Necks of Best Friends

by iktwabrokenbone (apiculteur)



Series: Line of Symmetry [1]
Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Friends With Benefits, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-03 22:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2889482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apiculteur/pseuds/iktwabrokenbone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It hurts, being in love and having sex with someone who insists that he's straight (he's had his dick in Tyler's ass too many times for it to be believable, but he still knows Josh isn't in love with him. Tyler still hopes.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something Awful Just Like Kisses on the Necks of Best Friends

**Author's Note:**

> i was filling in some form for a fic exchange im signing up for and i came up with this prompt and then fucking wrote it myself bc why would i finish incomplete fics and prompts when i can waste my life away with bullshit like this? but yea sry for being slow with prompts ive been feeling dead and confused lately.
> 
> title from ive got a dark alley

Josh was panting above Tyler, pushing into him and groaning. Tyler wanted to pull Josh's face down towards his, meet his lips in a kiss. He knew he would wake up after this with hickeys all over him, bruises on his thighs and shoulders. His ass would ache and his lips wouldn't be swollen or numb, because Josh wouldn't kiss him once, never had. It was only recent that they even faced each other in these moments.

Because this was just an agreement. Sex with no strings attached, a way to have all the great sex from having an actual romantic relationship without being in love. Friends who had sex, and nothing more. Josh was straight, and occasionally shoving his dick into Tyler and sucking purple marks which stayed for days didn't make him any less straight.

Tyler wasn't going to lie and say he didn't want it. He _did_ want it, wanted Josh's hands and body all over him, his mouth anywhere apart from his lips- he wanted them on his mouth too, but Josh had pulled away sharply and laughed when he had tried to kiss him, reminding Tyler that he wasn't _gay_. Honestly, Tyler believed that, and he wasn't going to force his sexuality upon Josh, but he couldn't believe he was straight. He had to be bi or pan or something, but he kept quiet and only nodded at Josh's constant reminders that he was the most heterosexual person that Tyler would ever meet, if you ignored all of the times he had enjoyed having sex with men.

So Tyler arched and writhed under Josh, gripping his shoulders and keeping his eyes on the ceiling, because there was a unspoken rule about not making eye contact in these moments. No eye contact, no kissing. Cuddling was fine though- they did it before all of this had started, before Tyler had stupidly agreed to this arrangement even though he knew he would only be breaking himself.

Josh slept curled around Tyler's back, still naked, and Tyler just stared at the wall in front of him.

***

"I love you," Tyler told him when they were sitting beside each other, alone.

"I love you too, man," Josh smiled at him. He was painfully beautiful, smiling like that. Blue and green eyes were the ones that everyone said were beautiful, but Tyler was sinking away into those dark abysses. Tyler had once told him they were like a cow's eyes, when they were laying on a couch, half-asleep. Josh had laughed, and acted like it was an insult, and Tyler didn't bother to explain that it was a compliment, that cows were peaceful, gentle creatures.

Josh had no idea what Tyler meant when he said he loved him, and maybe that was for the best.

***

Tyler could hear moaning, undeniably the sounds of Josh getting off. It seemed strange that he would jerk off when he had Tyler, but he let him do what he wanted. That was his choice.

He tensed when he heard a different sound, someone else crying out in pleasure. It was late- two in the morning- and apparently Josh had brought some girl home, was having sex with her in their house. _Josh isn't your boyfriend_ , he reminded himself, and that was true. Josh had no reason not to have sex with other people.

He still silently fumed, betrayal and anger and disappointment. A part of him had almost believed he meant something more to Josh, that they were edging their way towards an actual relationship, one with kisses and 'I love you's during sex. One where Tyler wasn't left watching infomercials at two am to drown out the sounds of Josh having sex, hating how hopeful he was.

***

She left when it was almost three am, giving him a suspicious look before walking out of the house. Josh had come through to get a drink, looking surprised when he saw Tyler.

"I thought you'd be asleep," he said, sitting down next to Tyler. He smelt like her perfume, roses. It was one of Tyler's favourite smells, and it caught in the back of his throat like chemicals.

"Couldn't when you were being so loud," he said, and maybe it wasn't because they were too loud, but he wanted to argue.

"Oh, sorry." Josh was too genuine, too apologetic and kind and lovely. "I can go to their place next time I pick a girl up."

Tyler ground his teeth, his ears hurting at the sound. It was like nails on a blackboard to him. He wanted to vomit. "So you're having sex with other people now? How do I know you're clean?"

"I'm using condoms, Mom. I'm not gonna get a bunch of random girls pregnant," he sighed.

"Fine."

He went to bed, and Tyler didn't talk to him for the whole of the next day. It hurt.

***

Their friendship was falling apart. Josh was trying so hard to cling on, making apologies and buying Taco Bell to surprise Tyler, suggesting marathons of their favourite movies. Tyler ate in silence, sat on the opposite end of the couch when they watched films together, begged out of commitments.

Josh shouldn't care. It wasn't like they were dating.

***

They hadn't had sex in two weeks when Tyler pushed Josh against a wall.

"I want to fuck," he said, and the words felt wrong on his tongue. Josh looked uncomfortable, pushing at Tyler's shoulders gently.

"Tyler, I don't think we should," he frowned. "This isn't like you."

Tyler wanted to press their lips together and just stand there kissing until it hurt too much to continue. He wanted Josh to mean the same thing Tyler did when he said 'I love you'. He wanted Josh to stop coming home late and walking around quietly because he thought Tyler was asleep (he could never sleep until Josh was home, couldn't rid his mind of images of Josh having sex with women, women who he might even kiss).

Josh called after him when he left, pleading Tyler to talk about it.

"I feel like I'm losing you."

***

Josh broke it off, and Tyler cried.

They weren't breaking up, they _weren't_ , because they were never dating.

***

"Tyler, please," Josh whispered. "Tell me what I did. Tell me what's wrong. I love you."

Often, Tyler marvelled at how much stronger he was now, how much healthier he was when he let out negative emotions. He couldn't be that strong if he burst into tears at that. "I'm sorry."

Josh hugged him to his chest. "It's okay, Tyler, it's okay," he murmured, steadily turning into a comforting chant, broken occasionally by 'I love you's, and 'it'll be alright's. He couldn't take it, and he wriggled out of Josh's grasp.

"Josh, I'm in love with you," he said.

There was panic in Josh's eyes. "I- I don't- Tyler, sorry-"

"I know."

Tyler was too emotionally exhausted to cry again after that. Josh was uncomfortable around him like he never had been before. He'd get over it, and they'd be friends again, and Josh would eventually fall in love with a beautiful girl, and it wouldn't matter that they used to have sex and that Tyler could still remember what he looked like covered in hickeys from Josh's mouth. It wouldn't matter that Tyler was alone, because it was easy to hide when Josh would so desperately want to believe that Tyler wasn't in love with him.

**Author's Note:**

> i rly love cows. they have lovely eyes. also brown eyes need more love.
> 
> prompt me [here](http://iktwabrokenbone.tumblr.com/ask) y'all (i take phan prompts too)


End file.
